ok so I am one year older than I was a few days ago. That doesn’t sound like it made much sense but it does. I am not going to tell you how old I am. I am getting to an age where I am not so proud of my age, so you will just have to politely guess.
I went out for my birthday (which is coincedentally also Christmas) with a few friends. We went to TGI Fridays, because it’s like, the only place open on Christmas. I drank an infinite amount of shots, and colorful drinks with whipped topping and strawberries and cherries and pineapples and whatever. I remember drinking, I remember dancing in the bathroom, I remember random asain girls coming to the table who I think wanted to have sex with me, or my boyfriend, or both, or neither, and of course, I remember tickle me elmo. My friend Jason (who is Belladonna’s brother- and man on man he really hates it when people call him Belladonna’s brother but if you were Belladonna’s brother, the same thing would happen to you) got me a ticke me elmo doll for my birthday. I am in love with it. It’s so creepy and cute and scary at the same time.
Apparently I came home and started spelling out male porn star names and tried to figure out whose was longer. I came to the very exciting conclusion that "Brian Surewood" is in fact a longer name than "James Deen" and felt the need to announce this to a room full of people. It’s facinating, isn’t it?