I’m checking in again. I can’t belive it’s aready like, august 27th. That’s retarded. What happened to the summer? Damn this year went by really quickly. I know it’s not totally over yet, but it’s getting there. Fucking christ. Before I know it I will be 50 years old and my boobs will be down to my belly button. And that’s gonna really suck. It will actually suck for you a lot more than for me because I am gonna make all of you still watch my webcam shows and I won’t let you close your eyes! I am sure by that point in the future I will have the ability to control that kinda thing.
OK. so Umm.. yeah… what’s happened this past week. I need to start updating my blog more than once a week but its so hard to find time sometimes. GRRRRR yeah.
OK, well last weekend I had to go away with my family. My cousin got married, so like EVERYONE in my family was there. I must give myself a pat on the back. I found a way to strategically put my hair up so none of the pinky really showed. I don’t even know how I did it really. It was sort of an amy weinhouse up-do sort of poof, and moving a few haris over and placing a few hairs under really just made my hair look black. It’s silly, i know I am way too old to have to hid this kind of shit but it’s more a matter of respect than anything else. My uncle is like some big important rabbie and you know, the way this fucked up world is like.. he could probably lose his job if a freak with pink hair started hanging around his congregation. I dunno. I just wanted to lay low and I didn’t want to be the center of attention. I also found creative outfits that covered just about all of my tattoos… not 100% but it covered most of them and just let one sort of peek through. I think I looked pretty Jewish. I did a good job of just looking like a nice Jewish girl sort of.
Wedding always make me feel weird. Do they do that to everyone? I mean, I know I like to say bitter angry things like, aw man, this is lame, this is stupid… look at her dumb dress… I’m bored, lets go get drunk, fuck this, blah blah blah… but you know… underneath all the sarcasm I spewed to whoever would listen at the ceremony-I know deep down inside that even I think that having a wedding looks kind of fun.
So then I thought about what kind of wedding I would have. Ever since I was like, 14 I always imagined myself having like, a punk rock kind of wedding in my back yard with bands playing and my friends there and shit but when I was watching the ceremony I was like, well… having a real traditional Jewish wedding might be kinda cool. And then I tried to figure out a way to combine the two and none of them really made sense in my head. Any wedding I have been to in the past like 8 years I have had to wear some kind of ugly dress that covered all my tattooes. I definitely don’t want to have to do that for my own wedding. Blahhh I don’t know. Thinking about my wedding really isn’t so important. Fuck weddings, they get you thinking about annoying things.
I actually do have to run off to a photo shoot now but I have more to tell you so I will catch you up on it later.
well you know how you always get those spam things on myspace to chat with a girl on her webcam? the other day i got a message from a girl who looked pretty cute and I wrote back and I was like… Alright… sure… I’ll chat with you on your webcam. I thought it would be fun, and I wanted to make sure my webcam was working since I am doing a show and shit.
anyways, yeah… so she signed on and I signed on and we kinda sat there awkwardly looking at one another. Her webcam really sucked and I couldn’t see very much. She could only hear me when she had these headphones on and she didn’t have a mic on her computer so I couldn’t hear her. It was kinda cool though because when i saw her take the head phones off I was able to talk shit about her webcam, like outloud. I dunno. Like I said in my other blog entry, I am new to this whole webcam game and I don’t know if it is bad etiquette to insult someone’s webcam when youre trying to have cyber sex with them… or something.
Well anyways, I got bored… I made my boyfriend come in and fuck me on the webcam to make this webcam show interesting. And he like really fucked me… like put it in my ass and everything. Then I told her it was her turn to do something and she like… nervously showed me her boobs and put them away immidiately. I don’t think that was a fair trade. I mean, I know I had an advantage because I had a penis around but like… dude… I think I deserved more than a nipple.
I dunno. I tried to tell her to masturbate and she kept gilggling. Then I got nervous. I was like, fuck- is this girl like 12 years old? Am I going to be on one of these date line shows as a pedophile? I remember watching one of those specials on TV where cops tell little boys to taunt pedophiles and then they catch them and arrest them. Asking to see her masturbate was obviously getting me no where so I asked her to see her ID. She was confused but brought it out. I couldn’t see her birthdate on the webcam so then I asked her to email it to me. PHEW! She was of age. I asked her if she had any interest in being on BurningAngel and she said no. She said that she didn’t want other people to see it… which I thought was kind of odd coming from a girl who spammed random people on myspace which is you know… SUPPOSED TO BE A PLACE FOR FRIENDS!
Yeah. All in all, this isn’t a very exciting story. I didn’t get anywhere with her. I sorta pawned her off on my boyfriend because I got really bored. He stays in touch with her, sort of. The other day she sent him a message on myspace telling him she just got home from fucking 4 guys and is still horny and wanted to play with him on her webcam. I don’t believe it for a second.
well first of all, in my other blog entry I told you that I went to Canada. I left out something important that I wanted you to know.
OK so as I was on my way into Canada, I had to stop at the border of course. I mean, everyone does. I felt victory as I waited in the long line of cars… it was nice to know that after 6 hours of driving through all the nothingness in upstate New York I was actually almost there. I’d never driven anywhere that far by myself.
So I saw the cars in front of me go up to the booth, stop for a few minutes, and then keep going. I was like… cool I’m not a terrorist um… I’m white… this should be easy. So I finally get up there, and the lady asks me a few questions. She asked "what do you do?" which I already had a prepared answer for "I interview bands for an online magazine" which actually, wasn’t totally a lie. So then they said OK, then she asked asked what I was doing in Montreal and I said I was going up to visit some friends. She asked why I was by myself and I was like, well I told you, my friends are already in Canada. Then she gave me a suspicious look and told me I had to go into the office for a "random" check. Grrrr!
So I went into the office and I had to wait on this line. The only other people in line were either black or mexican… and then there was this entire baseball team there. That I understood… I mean like, an entire possy of dudes who play sports is definitely suspicious in my opinion. But whatever. This search definitely wasn’t random, it was pretty darned contrived. After waiting on a line for about a half hour I was called into some office… another lady asked me the same questions I was asked before… what I did for a living and why I was going to Montreal and I answered the same questions. Then she asked me where my car was and asked for the keys… and all these inspectors went to my car, took my suitcase out of the trunk and went through everything. Every pocket and every little plastic baggie full of makeup, my shirts were unfolded, my socks were unraveled from one another… my organized suitcase was turned into a big disaster and they didn’t even try to put it all back in order. I was nervous, I thought that with my luck this would be one of those times that some old little plastic baggie with drugs from my bad days would resurface. Fortunately, nothing was found. The whole random inspection was a pretty big waste of everyone’s time.
But yeah. Guess what… on my way home THE SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN!! I swear. As I was about to drive over the border I was thinking … OK, they can’t possibly "randomly" check me again… I have paid my dues to Canadian immigration services!! Don’t they have me on record as like, not a terrorist by now or something? But no… I was put through this process for a second time and whoop de doo… what do you know. I was found completely innocent. Grrr.
Well the moral of the story is that my new pink hair is totally cute, but it apparently makes me look like a terrorist. It’s terrorist chick!
You probably think I dissappeared. OK, I guess I did dissappear.
And here is where I have been the past few weeks,
Well, I was in New York, but I think you knew that. I had a lot of fun. I drank a lot of red wine in the evenings. One night, I had to do a webcam show on IMLIVE.com, and drank before the show, and during the show. It was pretty silly. My lips were purple. I didn’t want to drink from the bottle in front of people jerking off to me… I thought it was rude, so I preceeded to drink out of a styraphoam cup. The world of webcam is still new to me, I wasn’t quite sure how to angle it properly so everyone could see my vagina so i tried standing on a chair and stuff but the chair I chose to stand on was one of those office chairs with wheels on it and every time I tried to stand on it to spread my ass or something I just fell down. I was pretty much a disaster. I was really unprepared… I was supposed to go on at 11pm and at 10:58 I was in the shower, shaving my crotch. I got out of the shower at like, 11:02 and tried to find a cute outfit to wear… but it was too late. The people from IMLIVE kept calling my phone to tell me to get my ass by the computer and start ho-eing it up… so I just did it naked. I mean… I was gonna wind up naked anyways. I peeked into the other girl’s chat rooms… see it was the launch of something new they were doing… called the "celebrity porn star chat" and Tera Patrick was doing a show, and so was Belladonna and a few other big name porn stars. I peeked at their rooms and there they were… in nice outfits, in rooms with good lighting, and un-purple lips. I guess I should have prepared more for it. I masturbated for like an hour to the point where my hand got tired and then I think I just passed out by my computer. I feel really bad for anyone who paid $5 an hour to see me drunk and passed out by my computer. Hehehehehe I’m a retard. I promise- when I do my first cam show on JoannaAngel.com I won’t do that. For the second show- yeah maybe… but the first- I will prepare myself properly!
New York was fun, as I was saying. I rode around williamsburg on the pegs of Brenda’s bike in heels and really enjoyed myself. We are starting to plan a re-design for BurningAngel.com (we we have been planning one for like 3 years although we are actually gonna do it now instead of just talk about doing it) and we all sat and talked about it and sketched the whole thing out. It’s gonna be an awesome site. I think it might actually be so nice to the point where I am scared of it. It doesn’t look like anything I would be part of, it is just way too nice. Blah, Yeah,
So then I took a random road trip to canada for a few days. I borrowed my mom’s car. My boyfriend was there working (I really hate saying "boyfriend" it sounds icky. maybe I should just say my friend…. ) and I have always wanted to go to Montreal and I looked how how far it was from New York and figured hey… what the hell… I’ll go. He was up there working for a porn company called Zero Tolerance- I am sure you have seen a zero movie at some point or another in your life. In any case, me, him, the director he was working for and another performer (that is the politically coreect term for people who fuck on camera) for 3 nightes, went to strip clubs and got pretty wasted and hung out with canadians. Wait- did I say "strip clubs?" I really meant to say Strip Club. There was one club we went to, it was called Super Contact… I found out most of the strip clubs in Montreal either have the word "super" or "contact" in the title… like there is "super sex" or "dance contact" or "super sexxxy" or "contact mania" … I dunno. Don’t ask. I don’t really get it either. No one in Montreal knows who I am… but my boyfriend and the other hired penis were like rockstars over there so we were treated like royalty at the strip club. I haven’t been in a strip club in a while.. It made me kind of miss dancing. I thought about getting up on stage, but there was this one girl who like, was an amazing dancer and after seeing her dance I didn’t want to go on stage anymore. I felt defeated. I dunno. Strip clubs make me want to do drugs. I was a dancer for almost 3 years and on a lot of drugs for like a year and a half of those three years and I just can’t seporate the two of them. I had a lot of fun though, at the strip club, and doing the drugs. Stopping was not fun, and life hasn’t been quite as exciting since then but it is kinda cool to actually sleep at night.
I want to go to Montreal again. It’s like New York but a little bit off, and really clean. After hanging out at the strip club one night, the strippers took me and my little porn crew to some after party and it was like… at a pizza place. The ightes were on, and it looked like it was just a pizza place that was open all night,but you had to say a special password at the door. I would have been so confused if I would have tried to go on my own… if I was just wandering the streets at night and wanted to get a slice of pizza. All the strippers we were with knew the password… I dunno… it was just like, a pizza place that serves alcohol 24 hours a day. I have been to after-parties in my life were doing plates full of cocaine and playing poker and serving malt liquer in 40oz cups but that seemed pretty normal at the time.. and looking back on it… it was actually as normal as normal gets in the Lower East Side at like 6 in the morning. But an illigal 24 hour pizza place, with a menu and table service and everything… right on the main street… well… that was kind of weird. I can’t really explain why or maybe I just did?
Urm… yeah. and then I went camping for a few days. That was interesting… I shot some stuff for Joannaangel.com while I was up there… I intended to shoot more but it was just too dirty there. I like… did camping shit… you know… hiking, fishing (well I didn’t fish but I watched other people fish). I stayed in a tent and wore the same clothes every day and my phone didn’t work at all up there. It was good I think. I should do that once a year for a few days. You should too! Not only is it beaufitul and relazing but it is also cheap. Like it is much more satisfying to spend $18 a night on a little getaway for yourself rather than like $500 a night in some swanky hotel. Now don’t get me wrong… $500 a night swanky hotels are pretty awesome but you know. Yeah. Blah.
OK well I just wanted to explain my absence. I’ve been all over the place. But I am back now. Yeah. Cool.