Happy Halloween

posted by kevin11 on October 31, 2007

 

Jeeze. It is really already Halloween? I mean I feel like it was just Halloween last year. I don’t get it. How did the year go by so quickly? I feel like it was just last week that I was dressing up as a doll and doing to the DragonFly. Fucking christ. I am getting old! Before I know it, it will be Halloween 2050 and I will be 70 years old. I wonder if I will still wear a costume then.

So once again, a lot has been going on. This weekend I went to San Francisco for the Exotic Erotic Ball. San Francisco kinda sucks. I don’t understand why so many people like it there. The weather is kinda shitty and things still close at 2am. I would probably live in San Francisco if I was a 100% lesbian but… I dunno. If I was gay in San Francisco I would probably get annoyed of all the other gay people being so outwardly gay all the time. Like, if I was gay I would probably like being the "gay" person in a group of Bi curious and straight friends. I dunno why. I just think I would. I am kinda like that.

Anyways yeah. This weekend… in San Francisco… the Exotic Erotic ball was a little creepy. A lot of fat hairy guys walked around naked or with leather crotchless chaps- most of them had really really really small penises. It left me a little conflicted. I have nothing against fat people, or hairy people, or people with small penises… I also have no problem with them flaunting themselves… I mean… I think it’s pretty cool… like… to show off what you got, no matter what you got but… I don’t know… it wasn’t the most aesthetically pleasing site to see. I guess nudity or something was legal there so a lot of people were like, masturbating out in the open, and one guy took his dick, reached it behind himself and literally fucked his own ass (that guy’s penis was not small)… but I have been fucked with soft penises before and it doesn’t feel good so I don’t know. If the sensation was what he was going for, I would highly recomend a different way of masturbating. I mean, you know… a good old fashioned sit by your computer and watch porn and tug at your dick with your left hand maybe?

I hope you don’t think I am republican or anything for saying this but I think that was a little bit too much for me. I say this because when I walked to the bathroom I was like, almost raped 6 times- by both men and women. It’s a good thing I was wearing 7 inch heels. I think people just thought it was completely OK to just grab anyone anywhere. Ehhhhh I dunno. Like I said I’m a little conflicted about the whole thing. Politically, I am all for the Exotic Erotic ball but I’ll be honest… I just don’t know if I want to hang out there again.

Believe it or not… the 300lb men with 2 inch penises weren’t really porn fans. Actually the majority of the people at the ball didn’t really care about stopping at my booth and getting my autograph. It happens. Some conventions are really awesome and some are a little depressing. So while I sat at my booth not signing autographs, I made a little tally of the costumes I’d seen. Here is what I came up with- bear in mind.. there was supposedly 30 thousand people at the ball. That’s what someone else told me. I don’t know if that was true or not but I did not survey all 30 thousand of the costumes.

467 "slutty" nurses

358 "slutty" devils

577 "slutty" witches or vamipres or some kind of scarry looking thing- but with fishnets

124 "slutty" cats

68 "slutty" bumble bees (you know what I am talking about- with the tu-tu and stuff)

40 "slutty" fairy tale characters (snow white mostly)

299 "hoes" (like in the 1940’s sort of gangster way kind of)

160 "slutty" cops, park rangers, taxi cab drivers, and race car drivers  (I put them all in the same category because they all pretty much looked like the same costume with different patterns and different accessories)

Now for the men:

387 naked or assless/crotchless pants wearing guys

276 "scarry" things- vampires, or things with blood on them

3,568 pimps- about 2,500 of them in the same costume.

 

So the moral of the story is… if you have planned on wearing that purple fuzzy long coat costume, with the rod, and the gold tooth- please don’t. It’s not original.

that’s all I have to say for now.

I will make another entry and tell you about my night tonight tomorrow and also my night hosting "Metal Skool" on Monday.

xoxox

 

 

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