time goes by- so many exciting things happen to me and i don’t have time to sit and blog about it. it sucks.
i am in the process of getting my hair done for the 6th anniversary party right now….. like there is a makeup artist in back of me doing my hair. I know I know, that sounds really diva like… I should have probably done it myself but my make up artist in New York is named Andrea and she’s a lot of fun to hang out with so this was more of an excuse to hang out than anything else. She lives kinda far from williamsburg- (where the BA office is for those of you who didn’t know) – like she lives all the way in the middle of nowhere brooklyn and she took the subway here… which entails a lot of walking…. to the subway, then from the subway to the office…. and she did this, with her makeup case, and – I kid you not- clear stripper heals… AND a 40 oz of Coors Light in her hands too. She also had a bandanna in her hair… she kinda looked like a crackhead and kinda looked like the most amazing woman on earth. I have no idea why she wore stripper heels- she claims they are her most comfortable pair of shoes. I am wearing stripper heels tonight- pointy ones…. and I am dreading it. I tried on other shoes with my dress but like, none of the other ones looked good. My dress is bright green and zebra printed- you can’t wear a bright green dress with anything but stripper heels, it just looks wrong. Ah whatever. If Nikki Sixx wore bright green clothing and stripper heels throughout the entirety of time he was in Motley Crue I should be able to do it for one night. BTW him and kat von d? WOOOOOOAH, I think I am kinda jealous- should I be? Nikki is like 50 and not so hot anymore, but I bet he can still fuck like a champ. Do you think so? Do you think he ever did?
Anyways, I took so many photos- and I forgot my fucking camera charger in LA, and as I was uploading photos into the computer it decided to run out of batteries. It sucks. I really am not meant to be a photo blogger or something.
Anyways, I will recap verbally and you can envision this photographically. But I have to do this quick…. this will be the abreviated version of the story.
Last week Miami was awesome- Jenna Haze bought me a best friends necklass and we walked around holding hands. It was cheesy in the most amazing and wonderful way. I know you are probably making fun of me or us as you read this but don’t you wish you were Jenna Haze’s best friend? I feel like someone from the glee club prancing around with the head cheerleader in high school- me being the glee club member and her being the cheerleader if you haven’t figured that out. To make a long story shot, we had a lot of fun. Lots of fans came out- thank you very much if you are one of them…. and at night- Jenna and I ditched the porn party where all the other girls were and went to Rockbar, which is some club Tommy Lee owns… and we drank champagne and danced all night.
SO- yeah. there was no crying in the bathroom.
I got to meet my little myspace slave- Taryn- for the first time ever. She has been helping me out with my myspace page- you know, accepting friends, and like, updating photos and what not. She kinda just found me out of nowhere and volenteered her assistance. This is another great thing about Joanna Angel- hot girls with short hair and glasses come find me and offer to do my work?!
Anyways she came to the convention- dressed in like, the most nerdy but super hot little secretary get up (and not some pornified secretary bullshit you buy at a stripper store- this was more like, indie rock american apparel chick secretary) and helped me out all weekend- you know- opened DVD’s, and um…. watched my merchendise when I was away from the booth. Most of the porn girls brought big meat head body guards and boyfriends along with them to help them out- me- I had this like, super hot chick working for me. It ruled! Ahhh- I am making it sound like she is just a slave. As much as that idea turns me on =) Taryn is really, quite funny, and smart, and has many more redeeming qualities in life than just being a professional DVD opener. I think she might wanna do videos now- yaaaay- that means I can bring her out to stay with me and make her be a whole new kind of slave for me…. shit! i need to stop this. Taryn is a nice girl! She isn’t a slave! Slaves are nice girls too though…. and they open DVD’s like a mother fucker.
I’m in a rush.
I will not have time to spell check this.
don’t judge me for my grammatical and spelling mishaps…. perhaps I should call Taryn and tell her to fix them. Where is she! I need to keep her in my bag.
must write new blog entry
so i have been taking my digital camera with me everywhere I go- with the intention of taking photos and posting them up on my blog with witty little comments underneath them like all the other cool photo-bloggers- however, it is really annoying to upload photos and resize them on the computer. I should do it. I am sure there is an easier way to do this but I haven’t figured it out yet. When I do- well… I don’t know. My life will probably be exactly the same but, my blog will be more photo-rifific.
But today, since I really don’t feel like resizing photos you just get a boring entry, with nothing colorful that pops out.
So you might wonder how I have been?! Well, I have been alright… very busy… but you are so sick of hearing that aren’t you. I have gotten addicted to something very un-punk- and that is- Starbucks. Seriously. To make it worse, I am addicted to these low fat latte’s and the "reduced fat turkey bacon low cholestorel egg and cheese english muffin". Not only is that un-vegan on so many levels, and un-punk, but it’s also like- REALLY LA I think to eat turkey bacon. Who the hell eats turkey bacon outside of LA? I don’t really know. I can’t help it though, they really do taste good. I have eaten about 8 of them this week. Fortunately I am leaving LA tomorrow so, I can take a much needed break from my pathetic new indulgence.
The New BurningAngel site is ALMOST done. It’s getting so close- we have been working on this thing for like, a year and a half I think. Maybe more… it’s really pretty. What else has gone on… I shot some scenes this month, I did a scene with Alex Gonz for Cum on My Tattoo 4- it was the first time I had worked with him. He fucked pretty well! His penis was kinda curvy- you know how some are just like that? So in some angles it like, totally hit the right spot and in some angles it wasn’t quite as pleasurable… but I like the faces he makes when he has sex, they’re pretty cute and he like, gets really really into it and gets super sweaty and nasty which I thought, was pretty cool. I won’t name names, but we did shoot a scene with him and someone else a few days later and like, him and the girl just like- I don’t know- I think they hated each other even though they never met. It was in my opinion, the least sexual chemistry between two people I have ever seen. I think I have seen more sparks fly between my chair and my couch. Hahahah…. you know, on BurningAngel, we have been pretty lucky- even if the guys and girls haven’t met each other usually the chemistry is pretty good but this time it just wasn’t happening. As a porn director it’s a pretty complicated situation. Thinking back on it now, I should have gone in there and like, licked her vagina or something. Or maybe I should have provided a cardboard cut out of some guy she liked. AHHHHHHH whatever,
We shot a new girl this month who I love, her name is Cali Nova. She is blond and cute with a nice butt- AND she likes it in her ass. Woohoo! Three cheers for cute blonds with lots of tattoos with nice butts who take it in the ass!
Yeah. What else can I say…
Oh yeah, I went to see the bouncing souls out here the other night. They played at a little club in Long Beach and I went. The bouncing Souls have been a band for 20 years- isn’t that insane? Doesn’t that make you feel old? They are like, practically a classic rock band at this point. I had fun at the show, I danced around and felt like I was like, 19 again. I think it’s important to see the Bouncing Souls at least once every 2 years or something- it keeps you in check! There were lots of hot girls there… I felt kinda weird checking them out because I am not so sure if they were 18 or not but a lot of them were really hot.
The two days later I went to the Taste of Chaos Tour and saw Avenged Sevenfold and a bunch of other bands play. I did a photo shoot once for Metal Blade magazine with Avenged Sevenfold some time ago, I had questionable feelings about them then… I have now officially decided that I think the singer is quite possibly the most despicable person in the world but I don’t mind the rest of the band. I don’t even know what he did that personally offended me so much but he just did. He was like the genetic hybrid of a jock who picked on me in high school, one of those dudes at the gym who makes the machines really sweaty right before I am about to use one and doesn’t wipe it down, someone who wears Oakley Sunglasses during the day, someone who refuses to take your fake ID at the door of a club, and someone who works at hot topic. I actually got kinda depressed at this show… I was like… what the hell happened to the music scene… this is just awful…. why are him and I in the same room?
This weekend I go to Miami for the Exxxotica porn convention. I always get so nervous before these things… I feel like such a tom-boy around all the other porn stars… seriously! I’m like… look at me, pretending to be a porn star… here I am! Last year- I swear- I never told you this- but when I was at some after party club thing I actually went into the bathroom and cried for a few minutes because I felt so weird. The girls aren’t mean to me at all… I mean, I get along with everyone for the most part, I just feel like I’m the big nerd in the group when I’m around them all and my boobs and my lips feel incredibly small. Although- I do look forward to hanging out with Jenna Haze and Belladonna. Yum.
Alright- I must go now.
I love you all.
Ah! so here I am, back in Hell-A.
I guess this isn’t hell but, I am not particularly thrilled about being back here.
Anyways, I finally got time to empty my memory card onto my computer- so here are some photos from me teaching at the University of Indiana. Don’t I look so important!
Here- see- I am showing the students a little clip of Not Another Porn Movie. I am showing them how people order a pizza in Pornland.
Here is me and Caelee Spinney- the teacher of the class.
And here are all the nice college students with the dildos I gave them. I hope they liked them!! Wooohoo!
Yeah. so Anyways, I have caused Caelee some um… problems at work as a result of reposting the email that complained about me on this blog so I am taking it down now. For those of you who never read about the controversy of me at Indiana University… well… you won’t be able to read it on here anymore. I am sure most of you have read about it already… ahhhhh alas. OK I am taking it down now… 3…. 2 …. 1…
tomorrow I am doing a movie for the all mighty pornorific company called "Zero Tolerance". I rarely ever do movies for other people but… they asked me to be in their all girl extravaganza called "Girlvana" which I agreed to. I am gonna be banging Roxy Deville! FINALLY! She has worked FOR me but never with me. Damn it. Why didn’t I bang her yet? She licked my butt-hole at Musink but there was no like, real banging. It will be fun, and out on DVD sometime. It won’t be as cool as a BurningAngel movie but it will be OK. Hahahahaha
Yeah. I’ll talk to you more tomorrow.