time goes by- so many exciting things happen to me and i don’t have time to sit and blog about it. it sucks.

i am in the process of getting my hair done for the 6th anniversary party right now….. like there is a makeup artist in back of me doing my hair. I know I know, that sounds really diva like… I should have probably done it myself but my make up artist in New York is named Andrea and she’s a lot of fun to hang out with so this was more of an excuse to hang out than anything else. She lives kinda far from williamsburg- (where the BA office is for those of you who didn’t know) – like she lives all the way in the middle of nowhere brooklyn and she took the subway here… which entails a lot of walking…. to the subway, then from the subway to the office…. and she did this, with her makeup case, and – I kid you not- clear stripper heals… AND a 40 oz of Coors Light in her hands too. She also had a bandanna in her hair… she kinda looked like a crackhead and kinda looked like the most amazing woman on earth. I have no idea why she wore stripper heels- she claims they are her most comfortable pair of shoes. I am wearing stripper heels tonight- pointy ones…. and I am dreading it. I tried on other shoes with my dress but like, none of the other ones looked good. My dress is bright green and zebra printed- you can’t wear a bright green dress with anything but stripper heels, it just looks wrong. Ah whatever. If Nikki Sixx wore bright green clothing and stripper heels throughout the entirety of time he was in Motley Crue I should be able to do it for one night. BTW him and kat von d? WOOOOOOAH, I think I am kinda jealous- should I be? Nikki is like 50 and not so hot anymore, but I bet he can still fuck like a champ. Do you think so? Do you think he ever did?

Anyways, I took so many photos- and I forgot my fucking camera charger in LA, and as I was uploading photos into the computer it decided to run out of batteries. It sucks. I really am not meant to be a photo blogger or something.

Anyways, I will recap verbally and you can envision this photographically. But I have to do this quick…. this will be the abreviated version of the story.

Last week Miami was awesome- Jenna Haze bought me a best friends necklass and we walked around holding hands. It was cheesy in the most amazing and wonderful way. I know you are probably making fun of me or us as you read this but don’t you wish you were Jenna Haze’s best friend? I feel like someone from the glee club prancing around with the head cheerleader in high school- me being the glee club member and her being the cheerleader if you haven’t figured that out. To make a long story shot, we had a lot of fun. Lots of fans came out- thank you very much if you are one of them…. and at night- Jenna and I ditched the porn party where all the other girls were and went to Rockbar, which is some club Tommy Lee owns… and we drank champagne and danced all night.

SO- yeah. there was no crying in the bathroom.

I got to meet my little myspace slave- Taryn- for the first time ever. She has been helping me out with my myspace page- you know, accepting friends, and like, updating photos and what not. She kinda just found me out of nowhere and volenteered her assistance. This is another great thing about Joanna Angel- hot girls with short hair and glasses come find me and offer to do my work?!

Anyways she came to the convention- dressed in like, the most nerdy but super hot little secretary get up (and not some pornified secretary bullshit you buy at a stripper store- this was more like, indie rock american apparel chick secretary) and helped me out all weekend- you know- opened DVD’s, and um…. watched my merchendise when I was away from the booth. Most of the porn girls brought big meat head body guards and boyfriends along with them to help them out- me- I had this like, super hot chick working for me. It ruled! Ahhh- I am making it sound like she is just a slave. As much as that idea turns me on =) Taryn is really, quite funny, and smart, and has many more redeeming qualities in life than just being a professional DVD opener. I think she might wanna do videos now- yaaaay- that means I can bring her out to stay with me and make her be a whole new kind of slave for me…. shit! i need to stop this. Taryn is a nice girl! She isn’t a slave! Slaves are nice girls too though…. and they open DVD’s like a mother fucker.

FUCK

I’m in a rush.

I will not have time to spell check this.

don’t judge me for my grammatical and spelling mishaps…. perhaps I should call Taryn and tell her to fix them. Where is she! I need to keep her in my bag.

xoxox

Joanna