Sorry about that
I am retarded and i can’t figure out how to embed this.
anyways- this is the youtube friendly trailer-
there will be a more hardcore one up in the BurningAngel store in a few days….
It comes out in January- you better buy it or i will stab you!!
It’s cold outside, and I haven’t shot anything new in a little while… AND I haven’t been dancing so… yeah… my armpit hair has gotten a little bit long. I mean, you know how it gets… right? I’m not trying to prove anything- I’m not protesting societal beauty standards- or trying to prove some kind of point- I swear. I just haven’t had a really good reason to shave. Well, that is- except the other day….
Ug. You know when you fuck up- you just replay the story again in your head and you hope that you can somehow magically change what happened? That’s what is going on right now.
OK so I don’t know if you have ever watched the AVN awards… but basically… these little skits are played up on the screen in between the times when the awards are being announced. They are short and silly comedic things that make fun of the porn industry and embrace it at the same time. The AVN awards are somewhat of a big deal in porn so everyone in the industry is always there- and also- it is played on Showtime.
Yeah. So AVN asked me to be in one of these skits. This one was particularly funny- which is why AVN wanted me and Penny Flame to both be in it. I don’t mean to brag (or is this even bragging??) but we are both pretty funny. I love Penny- I think we kinda have the same view on the porn industry. Like, we love it but we understand how retarded it is at the same time. So we are both very good at making fun of it.
Anyways- Regan Reese, Shyla Styles and Aiden Star were also in the little skit. It was a pretty good group of girls. A blond with fake tits, two girls covered in tattooes, a blond with perfect natural tits, and Penny Flame- you’re like, ultimate non porny porn chick. Oh yeah- and Ed Powers was there too, an old school porn dude.
AVN licensed some footage from CSPAN- I have no idea how they did that but they did. It was the footage from that big meeting all the senators and the head honchos from the car companies had about the bailout- and they cut it with fottage of us basically being stereotypical porno retards. Like- there was one specific part where someone said “15 + 5 = 20″ from the CSPAN footage and it will cut back to be and all the girls going “Huh? it is?” and then making out with eachother. It’s funny. Pretending to be stupid, is always fun.
Anyways. I was told to wear a short dress, so i could like- flash my boobs and show my ass very easily. So when I was in the shower I was like- ok, I’m wearing a short dress…. I must shave my legs. I shaved them. For some unknown reason I didn’t really think about my armpits. I don’t know why!! We had to all raise our hands up and say “YAAAAY ANAL! ” as a response to something one of the senators said. I realized then that I hadn’t shaved…. but it was too late. UG how embarassing. Since I am known as the “alt” girl in porn- I bet the other girls there thought that hairy armpits were some “alt” thing. It’s really not- it was pure ditsyness on my part and I am just so frazzled. Yeah.
To make it worse this entire thing was shot in HD…. UG!
I am sure this little clip will go on YouTube- and it will most defintely be on Showtime- and the entire porn industry and fans will see it. So if you see this- please…. don’t stop loving me. Ug. Hopefully CSPAN will change their minds about licensing the footage and it will just never come out.
So when people make fun of me on message boards and what not- can you please explain how busy I am and how armpit shaving was just something that split my mind?
I already Twittered about this so sorry if you have already heard my frustration.
Yo. I don’t call fans “creeps” ever. I really don’t. I have explained this before. I am also a creep- I welcome creeps… it’s cool. You guys can come see me at a convention and go grazy on the creepyness. I don’t mind.
But there is a line- and that line deals with my poor parents who have been cursed with a daughter of me, and they don’t deserve to be bothered with nonsense. And by nonsens, I mean Jesus.
So yeah…. someone sent a package to my mothers house- addressed to “Joanna Angel.” She didn’t like this very much. She sent the package to me. I got it in the mail the other day. I opened it. It is a hand-written two page letter whose first line begins with “I swear I am not a stalker.”
Um… Hello? You obviously did research on where my frekin parents live. I mean if you are going to go through that much trouble to stalk… then bitch, OWN IT. Start the letter with like- HELLO JOANNA- TIS I – YOUR STALKER! HOW ARE YOU!
OK, anyways…. so basically, after a paragraph of this dude explaining that he was not a stalked… he said that he felt really bad for me, and has the desire to save me through finding Jesus. Then it continued to three pages of nonsense about how I can’t possibly like what I do and I must just be fooling myself, and how he knows I am a depressed terrible drug addict and I can confide in him. Then there were a bunch of photo copied pages from the bible proceeding the letter from the non-stalker who just so happened to stumble upon my mothers house in New Jersey.
UG! This made me so angry. I would have been less offended if someone showed up to NY XXXotica and jerked off all over my booth. Seriously.
And for the record- I have pissed off my family enough in my life… they don’t need any more troubles. Creepy Jesus un-stalker dude… are you out there? Are you reading this? I am JEWISH… any trueun-stalkerÂ should know that. My mother would be waaaaay more pissed off about me finding Jesus… than me doing porn.
Needless to say, I threw the letter, the photocopied bible pages, and the envelope it all arrived in, in the trash. But that was not enough. I did not want to exist in the same house as this thing.
I live on a hill, and it’s a very steep hill…. and taking my garbedge out consists of me taking my trash down a hill, and then the empty garbege cans up the hill again. I try to procrastinate this venture for as long as possible. It’s really un-enjoyable. This month I actually let it pile up a bit too much to the point where it is a little embarrassing. I mean, the trash was at the point where I just couldn’t stuff anything else in it.Not even a banana peel.
The only good thing that came out of this letter was that it totally inspired me to get off my ass and take out the trash. Garbege day is on Thursday. Ug. I can’t wait.
Well me and Jenna Haze had another fun night out on Tuesday night- and I left my digital camera at home so I really have no way of proving that we actually went out. So maybe none of this really never happened- maybe it was all just a fantasy.
We went to see TOM MORELLO. Weird… right? Yeah I was a little surprised when Jenna texted me and asked me to go see him play with her. It was the last thing I expected her to ever ask me to do. Then again one time I got into her car and noted that she was listening to Morrissey…. so yeah. There is a lot to Jenna Haze that you don’t know, and I don’t know- other than the fact that she is proficient in putting penises inside her on camera.
I became aware of the fact that Tom Morello had a solo career because of Guitar Hero 3. I mean- he is a fairly important character in the video game. After you pass a bunch of levels you have to do this battle with him. I remember getting to this battle and then thinking… wait… who the fuck is Tom Morello? And then James and I kinda faught about it for a few minutes- and I settled the fight on my sidekik, by looking him up on wikipedia and figuring out who he was. He was the guitarist of the band Rage Against the Machine… who… I only kind of liked. I really liked what they stood for- but I didn’t love their music. I remember seeing that “Freedom” song on 120 minutes and thinking it was awesome… I also really liked their tee-shirts. I thought it was cool that they were like, maroon and just said “rage against the machine” in this creepy type-writer font. For some reason that really spoke out to me in my angsty freshman in high-school days. I went and baught the whole album and did not really like most of the songs… I thought Freedom was the best one…. mostly because it wasn’t really much of a song at all… it was just someone yelling “Freedom- yeah right!” with some music behind it and I thought that was cool too. I remember reading their lyrics and liking what they stood for… but I just wasn’t crazy about the music. It turned out that most of their fans were the opposite- they seemed to really love the music, but they just didnt seem to care about what they stood for. As a kid in high-school this really pissed me off. I had a lot of anger towards people like these. Now I like to focus on hating different things… like Ed Hardy, and people who ask me if my tattooes hurt.
That didn’t have much to do with anything. But to sum it up, Tom Morello was a guitarist in a band whose music I just didn’t care for that much. The only songs I really knew were songs that I think I heard on Guitar Hero… although… I could have just been mistaking them for other songs I heard on Guitar Hero so I don’t even know if they were songs I recognized. He did seem very passionate- and I agreed with a lot of what he was saying…. but Jenna Haze’s ass was far more interesting to me than any song Tom Morello sang…. although… her ass is a lot more interesting than most songs that anyone sing so it’s really not a fair comparison. I don’t remember what we giggled about the whole time but we were giggling about something. She brings out the giggle in me. I don’t know how she does it.
Well after the show we went backstage and lots of people were smoking lots of different kinds of exotic weed. I felt a little awkward because everyone back there seemed to be united by the fact that they were all very passionate about Tom Morello, and weed… and I don’t have strong feelings towards either. Jenna sat with some people and smoked a joint and I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I think it’s kinda rude or just flat out weird to sit in a circle when everyone in passing around a joint and not puff on it. I mean, then every time the joint would go past me I would have to explain that I didn’t smoke and it would be really odd and i would probably fuck up everyone’s CHI or something like that. So I just kinda sat behind the circle of weed smokers and pretended to have something very important to do on my phone- but really, I just twittered very drunk but complimentary things about Jenna.
I should probably give Tom Morello’s music another chance when Jenna’s ass isn’t around. Then I can tell you how I really feel about it.