Last Friday I was asked to participate in the Skylar Neil Charity Golf tournament. As you may or may not know, Skylar was Vince Neil’s daughter who died of cancer in 1995. I read all about it in the Motley Crue biography written by Neil Strauss. It’s a terribly sad story. After he death he started a foundation that raises funding and awareness for children illnesses. Every year he has a golf tournament where a bunch of rich men play golf and all the money made at this tournament goes to the foundation. Rich men like porn stars and alcohol- so Vince makes sure to take care of his golfers who are taking care of him by having those things at every hole. I was pretty drunk by um… noon, and then things like this started happening.

I convinced a golfer that this would get him a “hole in one.” I am a total philanthropist. I do anything for charity!!

One of the golfers was a girl who is on this season of the TV show Survivor. That is what I was told. I don’t watch the show so I don’t know her name. She was a nice girl. I hope for the best for her and hope she does not get voted off the island first!! That is what happens on the show… right?

Here is me and Vince Neil and Brooke Haven, and someone else I don’t know. I am going to take a crazy shot in the dark here and assume she bangs people on camera. There were a bunch of people taking pictures of us here so we were all looking in different directions and as a result the photo is very sloppy. I knew that would happen!

Alright so- different porn girls were representing different porn companies- and each porn company sponsored a hole. I know I know… yes, it’s a very funny joke, I am pretty sure Vince Neil did on purpose. In the beginning of the day I overheard the people in charge of the event scrambling through piles of paper going “which hole is this girl at, she is at this hole, and she is at that hole” and I couldn’t help but laugh. I am allowed to still be immature even though I am almost 30 right?

In any case, since my company is not quite as big as other porn companies my hole was shared with a Brazillian liquor called “Leblon.” It was very tasty for making mojitos- hence why I was drunk by noon. I learned a lot about this liquor! See, Leblon is not actually a rum, although it is sold as a rum. It is a type of Brazillian liquor called “Cachaca” which apparently is illegal to import and sell in America. The people at Leblon don’t like this! They want to sell the liquor as Cachaca not rum. So they had a petition to sign and stuff. I was a very big human rights and animal rights activist in my college days- had I known then that years later I would be protesting in the name of importing alcohol I would probably hate myself. But whatever. Don’t tell the old Joanna I did this!

So here I am- uh… standing up for what I believe in!!!

And here is Vince Neil and the other people he golfed with for the day. I don’t know who the other people were. They all introduced themselves to me but I was incredibly drunk so I don’t remember any any of their names. Actually to be honest, I am really bad at remembering names in general, drunk or sober. I had a poster with Vince Neils name on it growing up that I looked at every day so that was an easy one to remember.

Here is the official sign that represented me (giggle giggle) SPONSORING A HOLE!!!

err… yeah. here I am again!

Here is me and Ron Jeremy. I put my hand on his dick. Yuck. I don’t care how legendary he is…. I have no desire to have sex with him whatsoever. That will never happen! But a hand on dick over pants photo is pretty harmless.

I tried some golfing myself! I didn’t do so well but it was fun. Let me tell you- it is a lot different than playing mini-golf. I had no idea.

Hitting the ball once really tired me out so I took a nap.

And uh… well I saw a cute little mouse on the ground and took a photo with it. It is so cute!!! Right?

Sorry I am a weirdo.

Well that was my day. I had a good time and I hope to do it again next year. If you are rich and have some extra money to give away, you should become a sponsor for the Skylar Neil foundation. You can find out more about that here.

I have absolutely no idea who won the tournament. I was passed out in my car in the parking lot when they announced the winner.

xoxox

Joanna Angel