So the other night I got to go on Loveline with Asphyxia and Misti Dawn ! Here we are with the infamous Dr. Drew. He’s so handsome, and his voice is just so soothing. He could tell me to kill myself and the sound of his voice would make it sound like the best idea ever.

One of the main reasons I was on the show- was because I was asked to squirt on the co-host, a guy who goes by the name of Psycho Mike. It turns out me and Mike actually were students at Rutgers University at the same time. Unfortunately we never crossed paths. He admitted that he spent most of his time at Rutgers smoking crack (he is sober now- I’m sure Dr. Drew had something to do with this sobriety) . I was an English major in college- and I spent most of my time at hardcore shows, or animal rights type gatherings. Needless to say, we ran in different circles. As far as I knew there were not many crackheads in my comparative literature class.

Anyways, he went all out and wore a snorkel and goggles. Asphyxia finger banged me while he laid down underneath me and I squirted all over him. I will admit- a lot of this was pee.  I was kinda cumming and peeing at the same time. It was clear pee because I drank lots of water before hand. It wasn’t yellow pee. I just wanted to make sure he was covered in liquid- and he sure was.

And god damn. Do all ex- crackheads have bodies like this? Sheesh. This man really had one fine stomach.

Aside from the squirting I did get to take calls on the show and give some people advice.

My take on things was a little different than Dr.Drews! For example, a girl called in and said she was contemplating having a threesome with her ex boyfriend, and a virgin. She admitted she only wants to have sex with her ex when they are broken up- anytime they get back together she is not in the mood. I have no idea how this guy’s virgin friend got in the picture but Dr. Drew was concerned with the girls relationship patterns. He tried to figure out the root of her intimacy issues, and asked her about her parents etc. In the midst of all this I was like YO DR.DREW- HOLD UP… I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THIS OTHER CRAP  BUT THAT THREESOME SOUNDS LIKE THE WORST THREESOME EVER! IF YOU WANNA BANG TWO DUDES- BANG TWO DUDES WHO ARE A) NOT YOUR EX BOYFRIEND AND B) NOT VIRGINS!!! I was not concerned for the sake of her mental health. I was concerned for the sake of the threesome.

I support good threesomes! Does that make me insensitive?

A bunch of Loveline’s listeners were disgusted by my presence. Others were thrilled. I seem to have that effect on people. You either love or hate me! I want to give a special  high five to my new friend Dana H. who stuck up for me on Loveline’s website, Dana H You Rock!

xoxo

Joanna Angel