I directed 2 scenes this weekend for Cum on My Tattoo 3- which is turning out to be a super hot movie. One Saturday, I shot a girl named Presley Maddox, with 2 other hired penises… and she fucked the hell out of them, and they fucked the hell out of her. It was one big fuck the hell out of each other kind of fuck fest. It was really good. It is always nice to shoot girls who really love having sex… it makes me happy. She was totally nice and had a good sense of humor too… AND she even let me touch her boobs. It was awesome!
I have 2 more scenes to shoot for it. Cum on My Tattoo is sort of like my baby. I thought of the idea for it, and now I’m making my 3rd one in the series. I kind of started it as a joke, but now I am begining to think that cumming on tattooes is actually kind of hot. I think I invented a fetish!
So I had to do this radio interview this morning for some radio station in Philly. The XXXorcist is screening tonight at a theater there (The Roxy), so I thought this radio show would be good promo for it.
It turned out to be some radio station that was desperately trying to be like Howard Stern, but just didn’t do a good job of it. The thing about Howard, is that for the most part, he’s actually funny. These guys were retards.
One guy kept asking me if I was a crack whore, or if I resurrected the spirit of a crack whore in the movie… and I was like… I used to be but I’m not any more. It got old after a while. I don’t know what answer they were looking for, they kept bringing it up. Then they asked me a bunch of questions about if I liked black cocks better than white cocks and like, “if I would go trick or treating with them on HalloWEENIE”… and I wanted to tell them to get new jobs because what they were trying to do was clearly not working. I think I could make better degrading humor towards women, and I’m like… a feminist…. and that’s pretty sad. They weren’t laughing with me, they were laughing at me, and they weren’t even doing it well. It was pretty sad.
However, what is really sad about all this, is that I’m pretty sure a lot of people find this show funny, because that’s just the way the world is. People in general are pretty dumb, and are constantly surrounded by other dumb people which just makes them dumber. So this is why I must continue to make comical porn… people really need better things to laugh at. And I am no comical genius, but at least i don’t crack myself up when I call a girl a crack-whore on the air.
Joanna Angel, the Crack whore who likes black and white cock and Halloweenies
Last night I went to see Rancid play, at the Fonda Theater in Hollywood. I’ve probably seen Rancid like… oh I don’t know… about 20 times in my life. I’ve seen them in small clubs, big areas, and everything in between. About three years ago I became friends with Tim Armstrong (the singer and lead guitarist DUH!! for those of you who didn’t know) and he is definitely, one of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. He’s a lot nicer than even I am… and I think I’m pretty nice. I remember being in High School and going to see them play, and crawling all over people’s shoulders so I could see them. Now I am lucky enough to stand on the side of the stage and watch, so I get to see everything. Trust me- I don’t take it for granted. I maybe be a close friend of Tim Armstrong’s but I am a young and annoying fan of his at heart. I just have to hide it when we do stuff like eat lunch, and watch movies.
In any case, I thought I would share with you a little story about the first time I saw Rancid. It was when I was in 10th grade… how old are you in 10th grade? 14? 15? I don’t remember. I was on the track team. Yeah, I know… I am the last person you would think that would have anything to do with organized sports… but like, I was on the track team. My dad won some marathon when he was younger, so I think it meant something to him that I join the track team. I looked silly and didn’t really fit in. I had purple hair and usually ran in my converse sneakers, that had shiny silver laces, and writing all over them. On the rubbery white part on the bottom of the shoe, in magic marker, I wrote “conditioned to self interests with emotions locked away… if that’s what they call normal than I’d rather be insane…” If you don’t know where that’s from I’m not going to tell you…
I heard that Rancid was coming to town, and I was really excited. I waited for the day the tickets would go on sale, and as soon as they did I bought tickets. I didn’t think about what else I had going on because whatever it was it didn’t matter to me. I would have skipped my mom’s birthday, or like, yom kippur (and you know how bad that is when you grow up in a Jewish home), or I would have opted out of studying for any math test… or anything. So as it turned out, my track team had some super big important meet the day of the show. I think it was one of those meets against like, that one school my high school could never beat, and like, our coach had been gearing us up for them the whole season. When I told my coach (who didn’t really like me anyways) that I wasn’t going to be able to make the meet because I had a super important engagement to attend to, she told me that if I didn’t go to this meet I would get taken off the team.
I stood in her office, kind of not really knowing what to do. She said “you need to learn what your priorities are in life.” So I said, OK, you’re right… I do, as I thought to myself “Rancid first! Everything else second” and threw my uniform at her.
Ok so maybe I didn’t really throw it. I handed it to her and said good luck with the rest of the season. But in the version I told all my friends at the time, I threw my uniform at her… so if you run into anyone I went to 10th grade with, just stick with that story.
Today I had to do a promo shoot for Hustler. I don’t know if you have ever been to the AVN expo in Vegas in January (if you haven’t gone you should start planning a Vegas trip in January so you can see me) but Hustler has a super ginormus booth there, and I will be signing at it, and so will the other Hustler contract girls. Outside of the convention, and all over the booth will be lots of photos of us, and at the booth there are big TV screens that will be showing sexy teaser thingys of us. This is a big deal for the company; they want to make sure everything looks perfect because people from all over the world come to the convention, and they spend like a gazillion dollars on the booth. So having a tattooed black haired weirdo like me signing there makes big papa Larry a little uneasy… but since you fans of mine have been so amazingly awesome and have bought so many of my movies, he knows there is something about me that other people like… so he’s letting me sign with the other girls.
OK, I’m going all over the place.
So the promo shoot I had to go to was a promo shoot for all the shit that will be shown at the AVN expo. All the other girls had to cover their tattoos. I felt bad… but thankfully… they knew better than to ask me to do that. However, there were some compromises I had to make to have a spot signing for one of the biggest porno companies. 1. I was forced to wear an American flag bikini and dance around to the song “American woman” by Lenny Kravitz.
2. I had to get doused in spray tan. Yuck.
It was pretty weird. This little spray bottle had the power to like, change my ethnicity. Or at least, that’s what it looked like. One of the shoots was on a white shaggy rug. My new look stained it brown.
On camera it didn’t look so bad, and it made things make more sense for the photos that were taken of me with the other girls.
I came home and tried to get it off in the shower, and not all of it came off. So now I look kind of splotchy…. sort of like I have some sort of a skin disease.
It’s pretty sexy.
A member of the site watched the video where I make pasta salad and put the utensils in my ass afterwards.
He asked if he could come over for dinner and I stick the utensils in my ass BEFORE I make dinner.
Hmmm…it might taste good, but I haven’t tasted my own ass yet.
You can check out a preview of the video here: