I’m checking in again. I can’t belive it’s aready like, august 27th. That’s retarded. What happened to the summer? Damn this year went by really quickly. I know it’s not totally over yet, but it’s getting there. Fucking christ. Before I know it I will be 50 years old and my boobs will be down to my belly button. And that’s gonna really suck. It will actually suck for you a lot more than for me because I am gonna make all of you still watch my webcam shows and I won’t let you close your eyes! I am sure by that point in the future I will have the ability to control that kinda thing.
OK. so Umm.. yeah… what’s happened this past week. I need to start updating my blog more than once a week but its so hard to find time sometimes. GRRRRR yeah.
OK, well last weekend I had to go away with my family. My cousin got married, so like EVERYONE in my family was there. I must give myself a pat on the back. I found a way to strategically put my hair up so none of the pinky really showed. I don’t even know how I did it really. It was sort of an amy weinhouse up-do sort of poof, and moving a few haris over and placing a few hairs under really just made my hair look black. It’s silly, i know I am way too old to have to hid this kind of shit but it’s more a matter of respect than anything else. My uncle is like some big important rabbie and you know, the way this fucked up world is like.. he could probably lose his job if a freak with pink hair started hanging around his congregation. I dunno. I just wanted to lay low and I didn’t want to be the center of attention. I also found creative outfits that covered just about all of my tattoos… not 100% but it covered most of them and just let one sort of peek through. I think I looked pretty Jewish. I did a good job of just looking like a nice Jewish girl sort of.
Wedding always make me feel weird. Do they do that to everyone? I mean, I know I like to say bitter angry things like, aw man, this is lame, this is stupid… look at her dumb dress… I’m bored, lets go get drunk, fuck this, blah blah blah… but you know… underneath all the sarcasm I spewed to whoever would listen at the ceremony-I know deep down inside that even I think that having a wedding looks kind of fun.
So then I thought about what kind of wedding I would have. Ever since I was like, 14 I always imagined myself having like, a punk rock kind of wedding in my back yard with bands playing and my friends there and shit but when I was watching the ceremony I was like, well… having a real traditional Jewish wedding might be kinda cool. And then I tried to figure out a way to combine the two and none of them really made sense in my head. Any wedding I have been to in the past like 8 years I have had to wear some kind of ugly dress that covered all my tattooes. I definitely don’t want to have to do that for my own wedding. Blahhh I don’t know. Thinking about my wedding really isn’t so important. Fuck weddings, they get you thinking about annoying things.
I actually do have to run off to a photo shoot now but I have more to tell you so I will catch you up on it later.
well first of all, in my other blog entry I told you that I went to Canada. I left out something important that I wanted you to know.
OK so as I was on my way into Canada, I had to stop at the border of course. I mean, everyone does. I felt victory as I waited in the long line of cars… it was nice to know that after 6 hours of driving through all the nothingness in upstate New York I was actually almost there. I’d never driven anywhere that far by myself.
So I saw the cars in front of me go up to the booth, stop for a few minutes, and then keep going. I was like… cool I’m not a terrorist um… I’m white… this should be easy. So I finally get up there, and the lady asks me a few questions. She asked "what do you do?" which I already had a prepared answer for "I interview bands for an online magazine" which actually, wasn’t totally a lie. So then they said OK, then she asked asked what I was doing in Montreal and I said I was going up to visit some friends. She asked why I was by myself and I was like, well I told you, my friends are already in Canada. Then she gave me a suspicious look and told me I had to go into the office for a "random" check. Grrrr!
So I went into the office and I had to wait on this line. The only other people in line were either black or mexican… and then there was this entire baseball team there. That I understood… I mean like, an entire possy of dudes who play sports is definitely suspicious in my opinion. But whatever. This search definitely wasn’t random, it was pretty darned contrived. After waiting on a line for about a half hour I was called into some office… another lady asked me the same questions I was asked before… what I did for a living and why I was going to Montreal and I answered the same questions. Then she asked me where my car was and asked for the keys… and all these inspectors went to my car, took my suitcase out of the trunk and went through everything. Every pocket and every little plastic baggie full of makeup, my shirts were unfolded, my socks were unraveled from one another… my organized suitcase was turned into a big disaster and they didn’t even try to put it all back in order. I was nervous, I thought that with my luck this would be one of those times that some old little plastic baggie with drugs from my bad days would resurface. Fortunately, nothing was found. The whole random inspection was a pretty big waste of everyone’s time.
But yeah. Guess what… on my way home THE SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN!! I swear. As I was about to drive over the border I was thinking … OK, they can’t possibly "randomly" check me again… I have paid my dues to Canadian immigration services!! Don’t they have me on record as like, not a terrorist by now or something? But no… I was put through this process for a second time and whoop de doo… what do you know. I was found completely innocent. Grrr.
Well the moral of the story is that my new pink hair is totally cute, but it apparently makes me look like a terrorist. It’s terrorist chick!