damn.

posted by kevin11 on July 28, 2008

 

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damn.
07.28.08 10:04 AM

ok so i just had the busiest 5 days of my life. i am still recovering.

 

and now- i am going off to the mountains for 5 days. there are no computers there. i think i need this.

 

i want to thank all the girls for coming out these past few days and i want to thank everyone who came to see me feature dance, and came to see me at comicon, and came to see me at barnes and nobles…. etc. thank you. thank you thank you!

 

and i want to make it known that i have a major crush on misti dawn.

 

oh yes- I do!

 

I will talk to you all when I get back. Be well!

 

=)

 

xoxox

 

joanna

Posted in Pornstar Blog

Miss Un-Xbiz, and shit.

posted by kevin11 on July 24, 2008

 

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JEEZE

I don’t know what the hell is going on but I have been way busier than usual. It’s because I am a very famous rock star now, see… my butthole song has made it to the top 40. No fuck that, it’s in the top 10. I mean, it’s in the top 5! The whole world is signing about butt-holes now. I am hoping I can sing it at the super-bowl next year….

I am happy to be in New York as I always am when I am here. I have a lot going on this week so I know it will go by quickly.

I can say one thing though… they have these "graffiti cleaning" trucks that drive all over Williamsburg and I really hate them. They spray chemicals all over the walls and repaint them, and as I walk by them I feel like I am just that much closer to getting cancer. Not to sound all adult like and shit but I am soooooo not for my tax dollars being spent on this. Williamsburg is supposed to have graffiti all over it- it makes me feel at home here. Their paint over job is always really bad too and it just makes everything look ghetto. BOO on the graffiti cleaners. I hate you. I hope you die from inhaling the disgusting chemicals you infest my beautiful city with.

So what’s happening in my life.

The XBIZ conference was interesting. I actually had a better time at that one than I usually have at porn conventions. It was at the Hard Rock hotel in Vegas, where I had the pleasure of seeing outfits in glass cases worn by like, Prince, Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stephani, and like …. Johnny Cash. I did learn that Christina Aguilera’s pants size looked similar to mine when I was in the 3rd grade. Fortunately they were the chaps she wore in the"Dirty" video, and on the "Dirty" tour. This was a few years ago. Since then she has had a baby and shit, and hopefully, her waist size is at least normal blow average celebrity size and freakish size. Maybe I am just jealous. In fact the whole weekend really made me want to stick my fingers down my throat. I know I know that’s really awful but so many girls were walking around in their bikinis and their bodies looked… like mine did when I was 21. I miss it. So I came home and ran on the treadmill for a while… and ate some salads for both lunch and dinner. My salad for dinner however, had chicken in it so that did make it more of a filling meal. They both tasted gross and I think I look the same.

Yeah…

Anyways, I was a finalist for the "Miss Xbiz" contest and lost… miserably…. I sang the ecousitic version of Rock and Roll in my But thole live… the crowd cheered! I thought everyone liked it. I really hate being one of those girls who talks smack about other porn girls… it’s bad behavior and I like to consider us all on the same team. But I am going to sort of talk smack on another porn girl right now. I am sorry.

I won’t mention her name. She has a contract with a company that rhymes with "mimid" (i know that’s not a word) and she is blond, and she does in fact have a great body. I think she is part of the reason for my salad binge.

But in any case, there were three parts to the miss XBiZ competition… one was to answer the question "why should you be miss Xbiz" and one was a bikini contest and one was the "talent" round. I believe her answer for round 1 had something to do with loving America and something to do with being really hot. To show her love for America she wore a cowboy hat. Her talent was a 30 second display of a strip tease. Being able to take off your clothing sexily isn’t a talent when you’re a porn star- it’s like, a pre-requisite. It’s really just part of your job.

Now I was being silly- I said something facetiously about my bad child hood for the answer on why I should be miss Xbiz, and I don’t think I deserved to win the bikini contest portion at all, but my part of the talent competition won over the crowd. Blah- whatever. If anyone should have won the award it really should have been Sunny Lane. She put on the most elaborate little strip show I had ever seen- she was dripping with sweat and shook her ass and waved these glow in the dark things in the air…. I mean… it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea but it was really well done. Either her, or this other girl… Renee Perez…. whose body was amazing and she did a back-flip on the concrete…. or Penny Flame who was just … you know… awesome. I don’t know if you ever met Penny Flame- she was on the cover of AVN with me in 2005 and she’s just so awesome. She’s hilarious and is also one of the best performers in the industry. I really liked how during the bikini contest she got on the stage and did all the muscle flexing like she was in a body building competition. It was great.

But neither myself, or Penny, or Sunny even came into the top 3 for the contest. I can’t remember the 3rd runners up name but she was pretty cute… she did this whole bondage flogging little routine and I liked that. I know this might be some caddy he said she said crap, but my close friend told me that before the contest, the hoe who won took a look at everyone in the contest and said "oh- this will be a piece of cake." I mean, I applaud her for her confidence but um…. GRRR…. in a fairly tale- she would have lost- and she would have turned into a snake or something. But no… she won… people really don’t have any appreciation for buttholes, or backflips, or real talent when they see it! HUMPH!

Anyways, sorry if that sounded super caddy. I had to get that off my chest.

Ah yeah. Anyways, I have a crazy night ahead of me- it’s the Barnes and Nobles book signing and then a little after party dinner thing and then an after AFTER party at Rebel. Blaaaah. I know I sound like I’m Paris Hilton or something. It’s retarded. How did this happen to my life?

xoxox

Joanna Angel

Posted in Pornstar Blog

very tired and slightly drunk

posted by kevin11 on July 22, 2008

 

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i am back in new york again, and i am realy tired and slightly drunk

 

i feel like the past two weeks have gone by in about 7 seconds.

 

i know i am always saying shit like that but really- this is the truth. I did mean to stay in tonight and blog and shit, but I opted to go out and drink red wine and walk around williamsburg. I love this city so much. I really do… its wonderful. 

now i am just spewing nonsense. 

anyways, i am going to sleep now, but i swear when i wake up and i am less drunk and less tired, i will write a kick ass blog entry. 

 

thank you everyone, for being a part of this website and giving me the wonderful life that I have. I have been lurking and reading all your comments and shit all night… and really, it rules. 

 

ex oh ex oh

Posted in Pornstar Blog

Rock and Roll in my Butthole- THE SONG!!

posted by kevin11 on July 3, 2008

 

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um… wrote a song?

OK so you guys already know about Rock N Roll in my Butthole- I told you- it’s the title of my next movie.

So anyways, last week I called my friend princessFrank- he’s a musician I know in LA who plays in the band Masterslave. I told him I really wanted him to make a song called "rock and roll in my butthole" for the intro credits of my movie. Doug Sakmann also made one, and so did Brian Street-team! I wanted a few different versions of the song. Frank was like, well, we should really write the song together… and I was like… hmmm ok!

So I wrote the lyrics- it was actually a lot of fun. You know that song from the 80’s…. that goes "I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar"… I forget who sings it… but you know how the girl sings and the guy sings and they are kinda talking to each other and about each other- well I wrote it like that. I really tried to turn it into a love song about two people who really want to have butt-sex with one another.

Anyways, a few days later we actually went to the studio and recorded it. It was so much fun! I have a new respect for people in bands now. I mean, recording a song is a lot of work…. you get really emotionally attached to your song when you’re in there recording it… I can imagine how shitty it must feel to do that and then have someone rip it apart in a record review. But I guess the same thing goes with porn…. I mean, I put my heart into my stupid movies… it always hurts when someone has something bad to say about them but… I guess that is part of creating anything. Yeah.

Anyways, it was really fun. I am not sure what you can really do with one song- but I wanna make this a hit! I mean, how awesome would it be if "rock and roll in my butthole" was on the radio all the time?

here is the album cover, i mean- if you could make one song into an album this is what the cover would look like

here is the song!!!

and here is where you can download it:

http://www.burningangel.com/joanna_pics/Joanna Angel-Rock & Roll in your Butthole.mp3

help me make this the next Umbrella!

 

oh- and here are the lyrics:

Rock N Roll in my Butthole

chorus (frank and joanna)
All I wanna do is Rock N Roll in your Butt-hole.
All I wanna do is Rock N Roll in your Butt-hole

verse

Cruising the interweb late one night
I found a girl, she seemed so right
Pink and Black hair, pink underwear
she seemed so right
Her butt-hole seemed so warm and tight

verse 2

I am sick of being wined and dined
and making small talk about nothing
Every man I meet wants to buy me flowers
And send me text messages for hours and hours
But this is bullshit, I’m so over it.

pre-chorus 1

I don’t like coffee I don’t like cake
I don’t like chocolate- "and fuck- I don’t bake"
don’t wanna pay my taxes, I don’t wanna mow the lawn
don’t wanna play guitar hero
don’t wanna just get it on

chorus
All I wanna do is Rock N Roll in your Butt-hole.
give it to me good and give it to me right
All I wanna do is Rock N Roll in your Butt-hole
I don’t care if I’m sleeping, just do it all night

Verse 3
I sent her a message on BurningAngel.com
telling her i liked her crazy pink thong
I asked if I could take her to see a play
I asked if I could come and take her away

Verse 4
I said, I know you think my thong is nice
I bet you couldn’t afford to pay the price
I have no desire to see a play
But if you wanna hang out, I’m free today.

Pre Chorus 2
I don’t like coffee I don’t like cake
I don’t like chocolate- "and fuck- I don’t bake"
don’t wanna see a movie, don’t wanna hold hands
don’t wanna make out
don’t wanna just get it on

chorus
All I wanna do is Rock N Roll in your Butt-hole.
All through the day and all through the night
All I wanna do is Rock N Roll in your Butt-hole
lube it up and give it to me right.

bridge 1
I don’t wanna watch the sunset
I don’t wanna meet your mom
All I really want is rock N Roll in my Butt-hole

2
I don’t wanna go out clubbing
I don’t wanna meet your girlfriends.
All I wanna do is rock n roll in your butt-hole

3
I’m tired of these pussies
They’re just wasting my time
All we wanna do is rock n roll in your butt-hole

4
Lets forget about the rules and get out of control
We should get together and make some rock n roll

chorus
All I wanna do is Rock N Roll in your Butt-hole.
All through the day and all through the night
All I wanna do is Rock N Roll in your Butt-hole
lube it up and give it to me right.

xoxox

joanna

 

Posted in Pornstar Blog