This weekend I was at the Phoenix Forum. I have blogged about the Phoenix Forum before…it’s a “business” convention…where everyone who is involved in the boring Internet porn business stuff goes, interacts with one another and discusses traffic trades and affiliate programs and SEO and stuff like that. It’s a big gathering of all the Internet porno wizards of the world – if that makes any sense. There’s uh…a lot of websites on the Internet. It takes some strategic planning to get someone to land on yours! And that’s about all I will say without getting too technical.
Well here is my weekend in a nutshell:
I went to some party where a bunch of famous gay male porn stars did a strip show and auctioned off their underwear. It was hard to get a picture but…here is the best I got!
It was a little disappointing to learn that a lot of these guys aren’t actually gay. I don’t know why anyone not gay would want to have gay sex with a man on camera, but apparently this is a trend in the gay porn world.
I wore a yellow tank top, because yellow is an awesome color to wear in the spring time.
I took a picture of my butt with a sepia filter on it
I took a photo in a hot pink bikini.
I ran into my friend Sarah Peaches – she has had a website for like 10 years! She does it all herself and has made a great career for herself. Hooray for girls who have made it being a slut on the Internet!! Anyways… she licked my butt!
And I got on a pole and did stuff…
Alright. Enough of these typical sexy photos! It’s time to get real here. Now, I’m not sure if any of you have heard of a restaurant called “The Heart Attack Grill” … but it is quite possibly the most fascinating American phenomenon ever.
It’s a restaurant which has nothing on the menu, except a single burger, a double burger, a triple burger, and then a quadruple burger. If you finish the quadruple burger…you get wheeled out in a wheelchair and physically placed into your car by a waitress dressed in a sexy nurse outfit.
This restaurant prides themselves on being the only restaurant in the US that cooks all their food in lard, and not vegetable oil. There is a video played on a TV in the restaurant that was filmed in their kitchen…which shows someone taking pounds of lard, placing it on a grill, letting it all melt away then throwing patties of beef on top of it. It is the most awesomely vile thing in the world. They hand you hospital gowns on your way in…because…well, they don’t give you napkins. And you might have a heart attack.
I ate the single burger and literally felt like my heart was going to explode. I fell into a food coma for about 4 hours. This was 2 nights ago… and I think I’m still in that same food coma. So I gotta go rest!