Well, me, Tommy Pistol, Nicki Hunter and my friend Doug Sakmann all got together and made a little sketch comedy short thing. It has no actual sex, but lots of sexual references! It was fun to make. Who knows! Maybe one day some network would like a series on their channel about prostitutes and Space Camp. It seems likely – right? Anyways, watch this – send it to your friends, post some nice comments, and let me know your thoughts. It was my first delve into non-porno producing/writing so…lemme know how I did.
P.S. DID YOU READ MY YEAR IN BLOG!?!
I’m in New York, doing work in my office. Not much going on here! But here are my boobs, and a really rad pair of neon green headphones. They are so big and so green!!!
Well, I watched the Oscars last night. You probably did too? Or you at least heard about them. If you haven’t watched the Oscars, and you really care about what happened – well there are probably better places than my blog to get an official re-cap on the whole thing. But here, on XoxoJoannaAngel.com, I will tell you what I thought was important .
First off, in general, they were pretty boring. I have watched many Oscars, and yeah – they usually have some boring parts but, this year was just all pretty boring. Perhaps it was because I hadn’t seen a lot of the movies that were nominated, but really, no one wore anything too hideous, or too awesome. No one said anything groundbreaking in their acceptance speeches. Billy Crystal was not particularly funny or particularly un-funny.
I do think the most beautiful girl there – by far – was Rooney Mara. The star of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – which was an awesome movie. She didn’t win anything; I hope she will be in more stuff next year. She kicked ass as an actress, and literally kicked other people’s asses in the movie, and she showed her tits . Three very positive things. Rooney – if Hollywood doesn’t work out for you – there sure place for you at BurningAngel! We can make a movie called “Girl with a Dragon tattoo fucks Joanna Angel, who doesn’t have a dragon tattoo, but has a bunch of other tattoos in the ass.” I think it would be a hit.
Penelope Cruz wore a really ugly dress. It looked like something a bridesmaid would have to wear. Her hair also looked terrible. I don’t know why she chose this look.
Angelina Jolie is wayyyy too skinny. She needs to eat a burrito. Or several. Actually, when I was in San Diego, I learned that burritos down there have french fries in them. She should eat several of those.
Hugo and The Artist won a bunch of stuff. I saw neither of those movies. I am contemplating watching The Aritst, but Hugo looks incredibly uninteresting to me.
The French guy who was the lead in The Artist won for “Best Actor” , and George Clooney and Brad Pitt looked really pissed. Well since they are actors and all, they put on an OK smile when the camera cut to them after the award was announced (I don’t know why they do that. It’s kinda rude) but, I could tell – they were pissed. I would be pissed too if I lost an Oscar for acting, to a guy who didn’t have to memorize any lines.
Meryl Streep said a very nice speech. It was classy. She is a classy lady. I hope I am as classy as she is when I grow up.
Hello New York! I am here for a week. It’s cold and rainy outside, and I kinda like it. It’s nice to be here – it always is.
I was so exhausted from our big shoot, that I missed two flights to New York. One at 1pm, then another at 3pm – fortunately I was able to catch one at 4:25PM and got in around 1 am. But I am here now – in my office, doing stuff.
I have a few more photos from various cell phones from the shoot. Unfortunately, I do not have any photos from the sex scenes – sorry. Shit was kinda hectic! However, if you are interested, there was a sex scene with Veruca, Kleio and Derrik Pierce, Jessie Lee and Tommy Pistol, Krysta Kaos and Mr. Pete, Dana Dearmond and Jon Jon and Julius Ceahzar, annnnd me and Danny Wylde. They were all pretty awesome. There was not one slightly mediocre sex scene in the movie. Everyone fucked – and acted – their asses off.
Like all my the features, the plot of this movie was pretty ridiculous. I had a really good time writing this one. An old and good friend of mine named Nick helped me out, who is insanely funny, and together we really made an incredibly comedic porno writing duo. In any case, the movie is basically about a coffee shop that isn’t doing so well – so a reality TV show that specializes in fixing coffee shops (called “save my coffee”) comes in to save it. I was poking fun at the fixer-upper reality TV shows like “Kitchen Nightmares” – or whatever that hair salon one is called. Then “save my coffee” starts to get poor ratings from the network – so we are forced to change the concept of the show to something more marketable; one where everyone has tans, and gets drunk all day. In the movie, we pretend this is a completely new and innovative concept but we are very obviously mimicking the Jersey Shore.
Everyone in the movie did their sex scenes in their hipster-esque, Barista gear – however, I did my sex scene in my Jersey Shore garb, on the TV show, within the porno movie. Get it?
So here is me and all the girls doing our Jersey Shore joke:
And here is what I would look like had I stayed living in Jersey, and hung out with a completely different crowd of people. Melissa – the makeup artist, did her best to still keep me looking attractive, and not like a total clown. Danny Wylde and I were completely doused in spray tan- and we are both incredibly pale. It was for sure the tannest sex we ever had. It was kind of hilarious. I hope you are still able to get aroused by it!
Anyways, the release of this movie is scheduled for June or July. It’s going to be a huge editing project since there is like, a movie, and two TV shows within the movie. I’m pretty excited about it! It’s going to be really unique, with hot sex, and some awesomely funny dialogue. Fuck yeah! Working on my mini epic movies truly makes me happy. It’s a real challenge and such a great feeling when everything comes out the way you want it to.
Hey all . I’m on my way to the airport to go to NYC. Yup east coast, I’m coming back. I’m kinda worried I’m gonna miss my flight**.
I will have some pics from the shoot soon, but for now, here is me and Brian Street Team driving to the airport.
(**Editor’s Note: Joanna Angel missed her flight. But she got on another one a couple hours later. So she’s still coming to NY…just a little later!)