The past 24 hours of my life haven’t been all that exciting. I have been catching up on work and preparing for my next shoot- and answering a big sea of emails that I had been ignoring during my stripper travels.
So rather than bore you with paragraphs about nothing, or default to a photo of my ass or tits like I usually do, I figured I would use my blog space today to answer a few questions that people sent me on Twitter.
Here is one from @Mikey_Ender
“If you could have any superpower what would it be?”
Well Mikey, I would definitely want the ability to make Jeffrey Campbell shoes appear out of thin air. I honestly don’t know what I would do with the ability to shoot laser beams out of my eyes, or go back in time, or turn people into ice or anything like that. I mean, I learned from watching the X-Men that having powers comes along with a whole lot of responsibility and consequences, and if they are used wrong you could really fuck people over.
But I can’t see anything negative happening from me having a lot of shoes.
And here is one from @Mikenelson586
“If you could fuck any historical figure who would it be? ”
Um… King Henry the 8th. He was powerful, and charming, and had a whole bunch of slutty wives, and he got banned from the church. Look. These days, having all sorts of illegitimate marriages and getting kicked out of church is really not a huge deal, but back in the 1500’s it was. If he were alive today, he would be the star of an extremely entertaining reality TV show that we would all watch and say we didn’t watch.
And he also wore cool hats.
So yeah. Henry the 8th! I totally would have been one of your 6 wives.
And here is one from @FartBurglar (I am cringing as I type this name. )
“What’s the most recovery time you needed after a brutal anal scene”
When I was in 8th grade had surgery on my foot and there was a 6 week recovery for that. Two years ago I had a root canal and the recovery for that was about 6 – 8 hours. When I went to Mexico last November I drank two bottles of Tequila and that took about two days to recover from. After a week long trip to Australia, it took me about a week to recover from the severe jet-lag that I had. But after I got gang-banged by 8 dudes (which I guess was the most “brutal” anal scene I ever did) I took a shower, and went home, ate a cheeseburger, drank a glass of wine, watched an episode of Breaking Bad that I missed, and then went to sleep. There was no recovery period. I would have had more anal sex that very evening had there been anyone in my life at that time who I fancied more than a cheeseburger and Walter White, however that was not the case. If your body suffers some kind of trauma and needs some kind of recovery after anal sex, then you should probably find a new hole in your body to penetrate!!
Apparently I am the go to person for queries about anal , superpowers, and having sex with dead people. Woohoo!