Alright. Well Phoenix Askani and I went on a little road trip from Chicago to Indiana. There is a whole bunch of nothing on that voyage. We went hundreds of miles without seeing any familiar stores or food chains what-so-ever, but then when we got to this exciting city called Terre Haute, Indiana we found an Applebees and stopped there and ate some food. They were having some special where you could get an obnoxiously large pint of beer for $3 so I could not refuse.I only had about 3 sips and then I did drive the remainder of the way to Evansville, IN which was about an hour and a half. Don’t tell anyone I drank and drive! Ahhhh!

(Sorry I have the G1 phone and it takes awful photos. I will be getting a new phone soon)

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I intended on writing a blog about my entire Midwest mini work vacation- but once I started writing this I got on a bit of a tangent just about my first night. I wasn’t planning on doing that- it just sorta happened that way. Hence why the entry is called “part 1″. With my bad blogging schedule- it might be all month before I get through explaining my whole trip! Don’t let me do that! Yell at me on twitter if it is Friday and part 2 and 3 has not gone up yet.

I had an interesting mini work vacation to the Midwest.It began with me signing at the Chicago Sexpo with Alexis Texas and Kagney Lynn Carter. I forgot to charge my camera so I have no photos from this event so I am being lame and just posting random images from the internet with this posting. The Sexpo was a big convention and party mixed in one- it seemed like the biggest adult event in the Midwest. I think about 6 thousand people were there- everyone was very drunk and very loud. Quite honestly it was a bit much for me. I sat at a station and signed posters for most of the evening- while various people delivered myself and Kagney Vodka and Red-bulls. After several hours I got up to go to the bathroom and had one of those woooooah I am drunk and didn’t even know it moments. It’s odd how that happens when you are drinking and sitting down.

There was some kind of amateur strip contest going on in a different room that I watched while signing- on a TV screen that broadcast what was going on in the different areas of the club. The girls entering the contest were very obviously on their night off from the Hustler club, or whatever the hell strip club was in Chicago. They all had that booty shake thing down pat, and some came dressed in those shaggy leg-warmer things- and NO ONE owns those things unless they are strippers.

Kagney and I overheard that the winner of this abomination of an amateur strip contest was to receive $5000 and we both decided that if any fake amateur stripper was going to walk away with 5 grand- it should be us. My stripping skills looked way more sub par than anyone on stage to boot. In our drunken vodka Red-Bull state we were furious about this and acted as though we signed up for the contest and denied the chance. Alexis was not drinking Red-Bull and vodkas- she was drinking some kind of odd Champagne that I think was supposed to double as an aphrodisiac. She was more of a tired drunk than a get on a poll and dance drunk- but she is a team player and said she would go along with it anyways. We found the guy in charge of everything and asked him if the contest was over. He said “yes! why?” and then Kagney explained as if she was our team representative that she really thinks we deserve to have a chance at that 5 grand. Now, if you are reading this blog you probably think I am at least moderately attractive- and if that is the case, there is a good chance that Kagney Linn Carter is just not your type but- I don’t really care who you are and what kind of girl you like…. there is just no way anyone in the world would ever say no to anything this girl would ask you, especially while she is jumping up and down and begging to take her clothing off and dance on a pole.

So then the guy changed his mind instantly and said “well I think there might be time for one more!” And he brought us to the stage… where the emcee had started introducing some band. The three of us were escorted onto the stage, and just walked right past the girl who was introducing the band and the guy took the mic and whispered something along the lines of “hey we have one more contest entry” and then the girl whispered back something along the lines of “but the contest is over and the band has to go on” and then he whispered back something like “but Kagney really wants to go on stage” and then she took one look at her and umm… well she let us go on stage. We were told before we went on that there was no nudity allowed, which I thought was quite a relief since I had a very un-matching bra and panty set on, and I also had a tampon in. Yes. Sorry! Even people in porn do get their periods from time to time.

The second the music went on Kagney flashed her boobs… and then I was like FUCK I don’t want to be the lame one on stage… so i took my top off. I left my bra on though because by this point I visibly saw the people on the side of the stage freaking out about the exposed nipples. Alexis lifted her skirt up and started shaking her ass, so basically the entire building just stood there mesmerized.

So I was like fuck this,  I better get down to business here so I took my pants off- but I was wearing jeans so I had to take my shoes off in order to take my pants off. And then once I took my shoes off and my pants off I wanted to put the shoes back on because due to my height I kind of feel like I look like a weird 9 year old with my shoes off but I had thrown them to a corner of the stage where I couldn’t find them so I proceeded. I did a little dance in front of the audience, and I had to put a lot of energy into lifting my feet up because the stage was coated with sticky dried up alcohol. I ran to the poll and hung from it like a monkey in my red cotton H & M panties with some white script writing on it that said like “paris” “london” and other European cities with my black lacy Fredrick’s of Hollywood bra. A perfect stripper outfit, really! Alexis continued to shake her ass and Kagney continued to show her boobs. I was pretty sure that even if my tampon string was hanging out that no one at this moment would even be looking.I only really know one pole trick, and since I had exhausted that already I just shoved my face in Alexis’ ass… because well… it is quite nice and heavenly in there. I feel bad. I am pretty sure that everyone sticks their face in her ass during every scene she does…. but I was quite worried that if I didn’t do that, someone else from the audience would have due to the amount of drunk people with such close proximity of the stage. OK. Fine. I am lying. I was not really so worried about that I just really wanted to put my face in her ass.

We ended our impromptu show and then the band came on stage who were visibly displeased that their set was cut short.

We did not stick around to see if we won the contest. I told the guy in charge to please call me if we won. He still has not called. Perhaps they are just taking an extra long time to tally up the votes?

It was a fun night. It was most definitely not a BurningAngel party…. but I was glad to be a part of it. The moral of the story is, that if I get invited back next year I am definitely wearing a better set of undergarments.

This was my second time dancing at Gold Club Centerfolds in Sacramento, California. Sometimes I like to get a little tipsy when I dance- so I have some funny photos of myself being tipsy in the dressing room of the strip club. Here is one of them!

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Ah! Alright well sorry blog. I deserted you again. But I am back.

Well I will be going to Sacramento next weekend- the capitol of California! I don’t really know why Sacramento was chosen as the capitol to be honest. It seems like the capitol of CA should be like, Los Angeles or San Francisco- right? Or maybe that is closed minded of me. Considering I haven’t seen any part of Sacramento other than a strip club and a hotel- I shouldn’t be one to judge. Anyways- here is a sexy photo of myself to entice you to come.

and here is all the info.

GOLD CLUB (11363 Folsom Boulevard, Rancho Cordova) I’ll be there from WED, March 3rd through SAT, March 6th doing all sorts of evening performances: lapdances, selling DVDs and pictures…and doing my goofy dances on stage. I’ll also be at the GOLD CLUB VIDEO BOUTIQUE COUPLES SUPERSTORE signing autographs on FRIDAY AND SATURDAY, 6 – 8 PM…and showtimes for my dancing performances are as follows:

Wednesday, March 3rd: 10 PM, 12:30 AM
Thursday, March 4th: 10 PM, 12:30 AM
Friday, March 5th: 9:30 PM, 11:30 PM, 1:30 AM
Saturday, March 6th: 9:30 PM, 11:30 PM, 1:30 AM

Honestly- I have been to a handful of strip clubs at this point and this particular club has the hottest girls I have ever seen at a strip club. Just about every single girl working there was hot- and a lot of girls there were heavily tattooed. So, just so you know…. during the time that you wait for me to go on stage you will be entertained by attractive ladies.

Hope to see you there!

xoxox

Joanna Angel

Here are some photos from Phoenix Askani’s 21st Birthday Party!

above is me making a weird face, Phoenix, Andy San Dimas, and the porn star Bobbi Star

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