I intended on writing a blog about my entire Midwest mini work vacation- but once I started writing this I got on a bit of a tangent just about my first night. I wasn’t planning on doing that- it just sorta happened that way. Hence why the entry is called “part 1″. With my bad blogging schedule- it might be all month before I get through explaining my whole trip! Don’t let me do that! Yell at me on twitter if it is Friday and part 2 and 3 has not gone up yet.

I had an interesting mini work vacation to the Midwest.It began with me signing at the Chicago Sexpo with Alexis Texas and Kagney Lynn Carter. I forgot to charge my camera so I have no photos from this event so I am being lame and just posting random images from the internet with this posting. The Sexpo was a big convention and party mixed in one- it seemed like the biggest adult event in the Midwest. I think about 6 thousand people were there- everyone was very drunk and very loud. Quite honestly it was a bit much for me. I sat at a station and signed posters for most of the evening- while various people delivered myself and Kagney Vodka and Red-bulls. After several hours I got up to go to the bathroom and had one of those woooooah I am drunk and didn’t even know it moments. It’s odd how that happens when you are drinking and sitting down.

There was some kind of amateur strip contest going on in a different room that I watched while signing- on a TV screen that broadcast what was going on in the different areas of the club. The girls entering the contest were very obviously on their night off from the Hustler club, or whatever the hell strip club was in Chicago. They all had that booty shake thing down pat, and some came dressed in those shaggy leg-warmer things- and NO ONE owns those things unless they are strippers.

Kagney and I overheard that the winner of this abomination of an amateur strip contest was to receive $5000 and we both decided that if any fake amateur stripper was going to walk away with 5 grand- it should be us. My stripping skills looked way more sub par than anyone on stage to boot. In our drunken vodka Red-Bull state we were furious about this and acted as though we signed up for the contest and denied the chance. Alexis was not drinking Red-Bull and vodkas- she was drinking some kind of odd Champagne that I think was supposed to double as an aphrodisiac. She was more of a tired drunk than a get on a poll and dance drunk- but she is a team player and said she would go along with it anyways. We found the guy in charge of everything and asked him if the contest was over. He said “yes! why?” and then Kagney explained as if she was our team representative that she really thinks we deserve to have a chance at that 5 grand. Now, if you are reading this blog you probably think I am at least moderately attractive- and if that is the case, there is a good chance that Kagney Linn Carter is just not your type but- I don’t really care who you are and what kind of girl you like…. there is just no way anyone in the world would ever say no to anything this girl would ask you, especially while she is jumping up and down and begging to take her clothing off and dance on a pole.

So then the guy changed his mind instantly and said “well I think there might be time for one more!” And he brought us to the stage… where the emcee had started introducing some band. The three of us were escorted onto the stage, and just walked right past the girl who was introducing the band and the guy took the mic and whispered something along the lines of “hey we have one more contest entry” and then the girl whispered back something along the lines of “but the contest is over and the band has to go on” and then he whispered back something like “but Kagney really wants to go on stage” and then she took one look at her and umm… well she let us go on stage. We were told before we went on that there was no nudity allowed, which I thought was quite a relief since I had a very un-matching bra and panty set on, and I also had a tampon in. Yes. Sorry! Even people in porn do get their periods from time to time.

The second the music went on Kagney flashed her boobs… and then I was like FUCK I don’t want to be the lame one on stage… so i took my top off. I left my bra on though because by this point I visibly saw the people on the side of the stage freaking out about the exposed nipples. Alexis lifted her skirt up and started shaking her ass, so basically the entire building just stood there mesmerized.

So I was like fuck this,  I better get down to business here so I took my pants off- but I was wearing jeans so I had to take my shoes off in order to take my pants off. And then once I took my shoes off and my pants off I wanted to put the shoes back on because due to my height I kind of feel like I look like a weird 9 year old with my shoes off but I had thrown them to a corner of the stage where I couldn’t find them so I proceeded. I did a little dance in front of the audience, and I had to put a lot of energy into lifting my feet up because the stage was coated with sticky dried up alcohol. I ran to the poll and hung from it like a monkey in my red cotton H & M panties with some white script writing on it that said like “paris” “london” and other European cities with my black lacy Fredrick’s of Hollywood bra. A perfect stripper outfit, really! Alexis continued to shake her ass and Kagney continued to show her boobs. I was pretty sure that even if my tampon string was hanging out that no one at this moment would even be looking.I only really know one pole trick, and since I had exhausted that already I just shoved my face in Alexis’ ass… because well… it is quite nice and heavenly in there. I feel bad. I am pretty sure that everyone sticks their face in her ass during every scene she does…. but I was quite worried that if I didn’t do that, someone else from the audience would have due to the amount of drunk people with such close proximity of the stage. OK. Fine. I am lying. I was not really so worried about that I just really wanted to put my face in her ass.

We ended our impromptu show and then the band came on stage who were visibly displeased that their set was cut short.

We did not stick around to see if we won the contest. I told the guy in charge to please call me if we won. He still has not called. Perhaps they are just taking an extra long time to tally up the votes?

It was a fun night. It was most definitely not a BurningAngel party…. but I was glad to be a part of it. The moral of the story is, that if I get invited back next year I am definitely wearing a better set of undergarments.

It’s Stormy Leather, Jessie Lee, ME!, Brian Street Team, Misti Dawn, Nate Liquor, Sparky, Cadence St John, on the red carpet for the AVN awards show.We take these red carpet things very seriously.

UGGGGGGH now where do I even begin? This seems to happen every year–from my birthday to the middle of January just flies by. I barely get enough time to get excited about my birthday,  or New Years… and the AEE expo comes and goes, and then I get sick for a few days… and then I want to do nothing but sleep for a few days and then life starts over again. Hmm. What can I say about AEE? I don’t really know. It was great meeting all you fans who came out. For the first time at this convention I really felt like part of this “game”and not just like a girl playing dress-up. Unfortunately, I don’t have any exciting stories to tell you. I woke up every morning at 7am, got my makeup done, did interviews, signed autographs for a while, then went to some kind of business dinner and did some kind of appearance/party at night. I didn’t get drunk and black out, I didn’t accidentally get married, I didn’t get mixed up with any kind of mafia scandal, and I didn’t win or lose any money at all. This Vegas trip was nothing like the Hangover or Oceans 11. Maybe next time.

I feature danced my first night in Vegas at The Velvet Lion, and Vinne Paul from Pantera was there! Back when I was a full-time stripper I used to dance to Pantera’s “Walk” all the time. Seeing him there made me feel like everything was coming full circle–Pantera used to get me in the mood to show my boobs, and now I was showing Pantera my boobs. Crazy. Too bad I did not get to show Dimebag Darrell my body parts before he passed away. I am determined one day to put one of my pornos on his grave.

Well here is me, Vinnie Paul, and his assistant whose name I can not remember.

I only found a few photos of myself from the actual AEE convention- some nice people on twitter gave me some!

here is me and @TAYSTEVENS

and here is me and @seandps

and here is me and @brianstreetteam in front of a very large photo of my butt. I think my over-sized ass pic is making Brian Street Team a little uncomfortable- while it is making me extremely overjoyed!!!

We had a party at the Playboy Club at the Palms Casino and that was quite interesting. The wall of the club had photos of Playboy models everywhere–and they mixed in photos of me and the BurningAngel girls that night. It was quite funny to see photos of ourselves amongst Holly Madison and Kendra um… whatever the hell her last name is from the Girls Next Door. DJ Jess came out and DJ-ed the party so the music made me feel right at home–no fist-pumping douchey club music. The crowd was kinda odd–a mixture of some BA fans, and uh…. a few Senators. No- a Senator is not a cool new hipster term for someone with a certain kind of hat or mustache- I am actually talking about people who work at the Senate. I’m not sure what states they were from but they were very keen on flirting with Jane all night. All this fun came to a sad end when DJ Jess took a photo of Jane’s nipple and

she got thrown out of the club. She actually got thrown out of the hotel, not just the club! A few years ago in Vegas I remember getting kicked out of the lobby of the Venetian because I was wearing a hoodie that said “Fuck Off” on the back. Sometimes people (those people

include me) forget that Vegas is inside of Nevada–a very red state where people do not believe in curses–or nipples. So yeah, if you go to the Playboy Club in Las Vegas and get all riled up and want to show the world your nipple, think twice! Go to the bathroom and flash yourself in the mirror to get your rocks off. As far as I know–I think that is still allowed.

Here are a few photos from the party before all that nonsense happened:

Here is Jane right before she got kicked out!! How sad. She was having fun!

This photo was not from the BurningAngel party it was from a different party from a different night. It is a photo of me and the best new starlett Kagney Lynn Carter. Appearance wise she is the complete opposite of a BurningAngel girl but she is totally adorable and I wasn’t quite sure where else to put this photo.

And then there was the actual awards show.Before I begin my story- here are a few photos of me and James Deen and the girls getting into the limo to go to the show. Sorry if you don’t think limos are punk. I don’t know how else to get 10 people to travel together in Vegas.

Well, to start off, I wore the most uncomfortable shoes I have ever worn to the show. Now, I wear uncomfortable shoes quite often, but these were far worse than any other pair of uncomfortable shoes I have ever worn. I blame my funny faces on the red carpet on those shoes. After I was done walking the carpet, well, I sat down… simply because that was all I could do. Several people asked me to go to the bar with them and grab a drink and I politely refused because I was completely unable to move from the chair I was at. I was honestly worried I wouldn’t be able to walk across the casino to go to the actual awards show once it opened. Yes–they were that bad!! So I explained my problem to Cadence, and she told me to take some chewing gum and stick it in the shoes. I was pretty desperate and did have a whole pack of gum in my bag so I immediately took some out and began sticking it in my shoes- in front of the entire porno industry. I must have stuck about 30 pieces of gum inside each shoe- and well- it totally worked! I felt very odd… I mean, throughout the night I basically felt like what it feels like to be barefoot and step on freshly spit out gum on the street but, that was a lot better than feeling like someone was hitting your toes with a hammer all night. I would like to take this time to thank Cadence for that tip, and I would like to thank Trident gum for being there when I needed someone. Now the insides of those shoes kinda look like

the bottom of a high school desk, but whatever. It was worth it.

Here are a few photos from the red carpet:

Me and Dave Attel- he hosted the show this year. He talked about me on Howard Stern once and referred to me as “that Jewish chick- Angel Jones.” I was in the middle of telling him this and then someone snapped a photo- hence why it looks a little awkward.

Here is the cutest couple in porno- me and James Deen

I have the best girls ever.

Here are all the fans who were ogling the red carpet. Hellooooo fans!

Here is the sexy version of the BurningAngel girls on the red carpet. It’s all the same girls and boys who were listed above- with the addition of CoCo Velvett (to the right of Sparky) and… unfortunately I don’t know the name of the girl in between CoCo and Cadence. I think she was one of CoCo’s friends. But she sure was hot so I am glad she was in this photo!

and here I am- you can’t see the uncomfortable shoes but they are there!

Aside from that, well, I lost all my awards. It kinda sucked. I was pretty sure we would win something this year considering that we were nominated for 18 awards…. but we did not win anything. To make it even worse, for some reason AVN decides to only announce 5 out of the 15 nominees at the show before announcing the winner (and they show short clips from these five movies), and we were not mentioned for any award except for the “web starlet of the year” award. It was annoying! It almost felt like we weren’t nominated at all. The evening basically consisted of AVN showing clips from the same 5 movies all night for every category and it was a little ridiculous. I know we made some great movies last year and I am very proud of them. I am not leaving porn any time soon so I have plenty of time left in my career to win awards. As long as you guys like my movies that is really all that matters.

A little over a year ago an all-boys religious Jewish college requested to have me on their college radio show. It was kind of scandalous–I had to sneak into the building because females are not allowed in there. Later in the year they sent me an award in the mail for “Best Guest.” I just got a text message from one of their hosts and he told me they are re-naming the “Best Guest” award the “Joanna Angel Award of Excellence”, because apparently no guest can ever hold a candle to me. So whoever wins it every year will basically be second place to me. I think they give this award out later in the year and I volunteered to call into the show and announce the winner. I have no idea how to listen to this show or where it can be accessed. I’m pretty sure that just the people in the school can listen to it.  So whatever–AVN may not love me, but there are like 18 boys at YeshivaUniversity who truly know how to spot talent when they see it!!

Thank you again to all the fans who trekked out to Vegas and paid the overpriced entrance fee to the convention just to see me. (picture some violins playing and shit) You all make me feel like I am winning an award every day!!!

Here are a few random photos from the awards. My camera ran out of batteries right after I got there but I managed to take a few pictures.

Here is me and Jenna Haze!

Me, Belladonna, and Bobbi Star

Me and Kristina Rose

Me and Sunny Leone

and that’s it.

xoxox

Joanna Angel