From Snoop Lion to Joanna Zebra

posted by Punk Porn Princess on August 1, 2012

Well, I woke up this morning and watched the news while I got ready for work…and saw that there was very important “Breaking News” on CNN – about Snoop Dogg. He is officially not “Snoop Dogg” anymore; he is now “Snoop Lion”. He died, and has been reborn in some kind of pot-induced spiritual adventure in Jamaica. He’s not gonna sing rap music anymore – Snoop Lion is going to sing reggae. I don’t know if Snoop Lion is going to make cameos in pop songs; I am not sure how Jah feels about Katy Perry and Justin Beiber. I guess we will have to see. Perhaps there will be another emergency news brief about that. I guess his mind is not on his money, and his money is not on his mind.

In any case, while I was on the way to my office this morning in Brooklyn, I stopped at the bagel shop and ate a bagel. I don’t eat that many bagels anymore – I save up my bagel-eating for when I am in New York. Eating bagels in Los Angeles is just plain stupid; even if it is a proper imitation of a “New York” bagel. Fuck that. So, I was like, in heaven eating my bagel. As I overdosed on cream cheese and carbohydrates, I had my own spiritual breakthrough. I am not Joanna Angel, I am now, Joanna Zebra! That is my spirit animal.

RIP Joanna Angel and Snoop Dogg.